Okay.. so at my school there's this thing called McRoberts Idol. It's basically like the lame high school version of Canadian Idol (which is the lame Canadian version of American Idol, but anywho...). I've only auditioned twice, once in grade 8 and once last year. Both years I chose songs that nobody new, or if they did know, then they had been watching way too much TV. I had decided to audition this year, except last year I got so nervous that my teacher even commented that she could hear the nervousness in my voice. I love to perform and I've been singing for as long as I can remember, but I've never had lessons. I only get nervous when I'm up there alone, but sure enough, it's solos only! I signed up for this years competition but I'm afraid that my nerves will get to me again. I want to perform, but should I? Is it going to be fun or terrifying? Is it really worth the stress? At this point I have less than an hour to decide if I'll audition or not, but I'm still no closer to making a decision. Atleast this time I would be auditioning in front of a smaller group and then have whether or not I perform in front of a large crowd will be decided, so I shouldn't be as nervous, but what if I still don't make it? I don't even know if I WANT to audition. Should I do it just for fun and say that it really doesn't matter anyways? Especially when you consider that if by some ridiculous twist of fate I won, I'd have to perform in front of an ever larger crowd, since it would be open to all of Richmond. Is it a waste of my time? Or it is it capable of being a really fun experience, as long as I relax? As time fades away, I am still no closer to making a decision. Alot of my friends are doing it. Maybe I should just go to support them and then if I do decide to audition, I wouldn't be alone. Too many factors are influencing my decision. Maybe I should just break it down to, do I want to try? Do I want to make an effort, even if it is a waste of my time? Is it better to put myself out there than to be afraid of embarrassment? I know, I know... too many questions, but every time that I try to break it down, it just builds back up. Maybe my nerves are getting to me.
You know what? I think I will go. Even if it's just to support my friends. I've gotten my worries out of my head and into this entry, which relieves me more than I can say. This has been soothing... I'll let you know what I decide and how it goes.
Blessed be!(No I'm not Wiccan, but I do think that it's a kick ass thought, I mean really, we should all wish the best for each other and if I choose to say it as Blessed Be, I sure as hell will say it!)